fearing recovery
I see a tree in your yard

You have a tree in your yard.  I see,  Tall and long remembered the kind of climbing tree that feeted kids straight to the freakin moon.  I know you could touch a cloud bottom up there
get your finger wet and cold.

You have a tree full of furry squirrels. I hear they are the kind that chitter and run out in frot of your car to commit some rodent dare then chew nightly at the electrical wires arousing doggy to bark and bark and freakin bark.  I m ready to eat raw flesh now except it makes me quezy

you have a tree that is full of flowers.  I can smell them with my eyes closed the briefest smell of yearning springtime of eternal life of the way you want things to always be the changes are so goddamn painful and remorse driven and balked at.

You have a tree that is full of dry leaves.  I hear it I hear it with the feeling.  The end of usefulness but like a drum it makes noise for people so they move get up.  If you are sitting and you hear the wind tearing through a tree like yours you get the fzk up and move because you know there is nothing here


you have a tree in your yard.  Tall and genuine wood. amazingly tall green and full of twigs and birdshit and small balls of something maybe the swollen off carcasses of caterpillars. I see that tree bulging up the earth mingling sweet roots with earthworms and eating dead things

I just want to stare at your tree then float up on my back like its summer and im in the pool or river or on a sweatsoaked after fucked bed with ages left before i have to do something while you look at me your eyes full of light and love and the gentle breeze of hello and I will stay with you


I want to lay in the shade with my mouth open catching the dust particles making weird noises with my epiglottis then I want to shut my mouth because you are on top of me laughing pining my arms down and tickling my nose with a a feather and you know they gross me out for some reason


My tree is stationed east of the cross, west of hollywood.  I am the thief’s best friend the one that he did the job for when he got caught.  I am his brother actually.  My tree is ironwood.  its made to rot well and completely away