sorry for being such an insensitive person.  I hope that eventually the pain gets more bearable.  I lost a daughter myself believe it or not. A stillborn baby really she was perfect in every way except she was dead.  She looked just like one of those zombies from a movie her skin all peeling her lips bright red.  her limbs floppy but when they bundled her up she looked like her big sister - only you could tell she would be prettier she looked more like her mother’s mother than my grandmother- That was the hardest part knowing their future That was when I first realized that I knew what she would be like what her personality was and everything. Only thing was there was a big hole there an empty chair a nagging feeling someone is being left behind. Even not feeling alone when you know you are, maybe feeling a person just off to my left - Not haunting, just missing her- filling the space where she would be with palpable longing. 

It is weird but there was another artist chick who died young out in SF she fell off a cliff while hiking with her boyfriend.  just last week

Makes you wonder about the effects of my own life.  The selfish meandering I do the whiny lashing out on the internets because I feel chained up like I am some dog barking over a bone.  I heard a  something.  “That we are cruel because we are insecure.”  I think it is more important to have faith than to feel better.  That belief is an invisible crutch.

Who is going to take your daughter or your sister away?  Like anyone could, like at any time you would be un-mothered or un-sistered or un-fathered by some asshole.

No it is best to hold it close - that relationship - not let the seething mass of ill will in. Ignore it with the possibility.  Remember her gently when you feel the soft breath of warm late spring wind because she is beyond words now, into the world of regret and loss, everyone she was to touch will be untouched.  Dont let the rest of us who cannot feel the way you do replace her spirit with anger and spite.

peace